I wonder why ...

​And here we are again, more killings, killings and still more killings … like it is not enough. Yes, it is all over the news, all over social media. It’s dinner time and we are on our phone, silently scrolling down looking for any information on what happened and we scroll down, scroll down, scroll down, and the more we scroll down the angrier and the sadder we get. But we keep on scrolling down hungry for more information. This is how we spent our diner yesterday. Then I put my girl to bed, read a nice story went back downstairs and now I wonder.
I want to raise my girls to be open-minded, respectful, kind and charitable. But what if the family next door is raising theirs to be violent and racist? I wonder, should I lock my door and create a bubble around my girls so nothing happens to them? Should I become paranoiac?
 
I wonder what kind of world are we creating? A world of fear where we will constantly suspect our neighbours to possess a gun or to be radicalized. I also wonder if our kids are the key to end violence … even though I would be happy if violence ends with our generation.
 
I wonder why killing under the name of God because I am not a believer. I wonder why killing under the belief that there are different races and some are better than others, because I do not believe in races. I believe in people living in the same world. I believe in a world that we could share even if it seems so hard. I am surely too naïve but I believe in peace.
 
I keep on wondering and wondering again … as French living in the US for over a year I feel helpless and frustrated. I am here an ocean away from my family, friends and compatriots. With our 4000 miles apart, I made sure everybody I know was safe. And it was the only thing I could do.